She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
