Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
