I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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