I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
