we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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