So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
