Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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