What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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