If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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