id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
