Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
