come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Randomize
