Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize