3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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