this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
