We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
