You're my little dorito
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
