you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
