She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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