Umm I'm too high to move.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
