Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
