If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
