Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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