i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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