Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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