He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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