We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
