Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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