i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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