You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
