We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
