had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he fucked my hip out of place.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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