It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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