porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
