Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
