my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we're so committed to being not committed
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
