whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
my liver is dry heaving
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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