The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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