I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
