im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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