Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
How many fucks given?
0.12846
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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