it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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