Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
