It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
