But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
