i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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