I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
