We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
