They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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