Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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