Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
