Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
