Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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