So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
