Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Actions speak louder than pants.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
