honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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