Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
