Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
