Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize