I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I want a musical about memes.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
