Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize