if you like me you must not know who I am
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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