Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize